December 19th, 2002

I took a trip to the dentist a few days ago. I hate going to the dentist. I know most people hate it for the same reasons; painful scraping and gouging, maybe a shot, x-raying your face, etc. But I hate it for other reasons. Don't get me wrong, I still hate those things I just listed but it's even worse for me. You see, I'm a very, VERY shy person in real life. I hate talking to people. I keep to myself, I don't talk unless someone talks to me first, and I try to answer in a few words. You'd think the dentist would be a great place to avoid conversation but for some reason they feel the need to open your mouth wide, scrape and dig until your eyes water, and ask you several questions while doing so. But that's not the worst part. When all is said and done they give you a lecture about flossing and other BS about caring for your teeth.

As if the cleaning wasn't brutal enough, you're told time and time again, every time you go to the dentist, the importance of flossing to prevent gingivitis and all sorts of other things I don't even listen to anymore. Does that bitch think I'm still 12 or something? Does she think I haven't heard this stuff about a thousand times in my near 19 years? Just once I'd like to go to the dentist and not say a word. To anyone. I mean, is it really necessary? You enter, sign in, go to the back, get your teeth cleaned, then leave and don't come back for six months. There's no need "catch up" with someone I don't know. There's no need to hear about their life. There's no need for any of it. Clean my teeth and shut the hell up. Please.

But that's just wishful thinking I guess. No chance that could ever happen. Sadly. I guess that makes me pretty stubborn. I won't listen to her advising me to floss even though it'd save me a few minutes of agony six months from now. Though part of me thinks it's smart. I'd rather suffer for three minutes every six months than floss for two minutes everyday for six months. And at age 18, if I haven't developed these good hygeine habits by now, I'm not going to. So, lady, just give it up. Go find yourself an 8 year old to lecture on the importance of floss. I'm not interested. And I'll see you in July.

"See you in July" seems like the perfect place to end but I'd much rather keep ranting. What's with the x-raying? They recline you back so far you get a head rush, they throw a ten pound led apron on you, stuff cardboard in your mouth, point a gun directly at your face, then leave the room to avoid the dangerous x-ray. Yes, that's very comforting. They don't even want to be in the room when that thing goes off. But they sure as hell don't have any problem pointing it at your head. My goodness. Alright, I'm done. It's almost 1 in the morning. That's a great way to end it huh? It's way better than "See you in July." Nah, that one was way better. I think I'll reuse it and hope no one notices. So, I'll see you in July.