Monday June 14, 2004

Alright, I'm finally bored enough to start typing out crap that no one will read about my trip to Europe. Grab a beverage and sit back, cause this could take awhile. I'll start with a summary of my "first" flight experiences...

This was my first real time to fly. Not technically, though. When I was fourteen or fifteen, my father and I flew to Dallas with a few of his friends to see some auto racing. I don't count that time because we took a single-engine plane since his friend owned it (I guess) and was a pilot. It was a lot of fun. I actually got to fly it for a stretch.

Anyway, that dinky little plane doesn't count in my book. Even though we were just leaving from Amarillo and going to Dallas, we had to take our shoes off before we went through security at the airport. I was told by people we'd have to do that when I told them we were going to Germany, but I didn't really think we'd have to do it.

Not much to tell about the one hour flight to Dallas. It was a small plane; only three seats wide. The take-offs are pretty cool. I also like flying through clouds. I guess I'm just a nerd like that. I wasn't scared, but landing wasn't really my favorite part. At least it's something to keep you occupied. Once you're in the air, there's really nothing interesting going on.

The flight from Dallas to Frankfurt was different. We took one of the big boys. I think it was nine seats wide, and had two aisles. There were also monitors in the back of the headrests. On nine hour+ flights, they've got to keep us entertained so we don't kill each other, I guess. They had some (crappy) movies, some (crappy) TV shows, and even some music channels to choose from. I think I watched Welcome to Mooseport, 21 Grams, and some CSI on the way there.

On the way back I watched Torque. Don't see it, by the way. Awful. I couldn't help but notice it had edited language in it. I found that weird since on the way to Frankfurt, I watched 21 Grams and it had quite a bit of unedited sex/nudity in it. I watched it anyway, though. I was very uncomfortable while it was showing naked chicks, but I held firm. Even though there were young kids seated near me, I kept it on.

And I did feel damn uncomfortable. You don't really know what to do in that situation. And it went on for what seemed like an eternity. You really want to turn it off or change the channel until it's over, but you don't... because... I don't know why. You just don't.

It's sort of like when you're getting your hair cut and the barber leans up against the arm rest you're using. He puts his junk right on your hand and you don't know what to do, so you analyze the situation and weigh your options. "Does he know he's against your hand/arm? What if he's doing it on purpose!? ...I should move it to be safe." Then realize you can't move it now. You've left it there too long. You've passed that point of no return.

Actually, it's nothing like that. It's just a stressful situation, though. It would be another thing if everyone was watching the free porn. But they're not. It's just you. And out in the open like you're not even ashamed.

As I said, landing wasn't my favorite part of flying. Come to think of it, I never thought twice about it until we landed in Dallas on the way home. We'd fly level, then drop suddenly like we were on a roller coaster. We did this several times until kids in the back started calling out, "Whooooa!" each time like they were on a ride of some kind. I made a comment to my mother at that time that I didn't think the pilot was very good.

I can't remember what my mom said back, but she disagreed. Then we landed. I won't say the pilot swerved, but he turned left, then immediately right hard enough to move you in your seat. After that, my mom agreed with me.

I also found they board the plane ass-backwards. They let first class on first, which is always at the front of the plane. Then they load groups 1, 2, and 3 in that order after them. Group 3 boards last and they're at the very back of the plane. It made sense to me to load the back of the plane first. That way all the lower groups aren't clogging the aisles putting their crap in the overhead compartments. American Airlines doesn't think as logically as I do, I guess.

Other than those things, I didn't notice anything noteworthy about flying. Take-offs are cool, flying through clouds I enjoy, and landing can get a little hairy if your pilot sucks.