David Blaine

Makaveli Sanders: david blaine is god
NAW Chris: he made a deal with the devil or something
Makaveli Sanders: lmao u know him?
NAW Chris: the magician right?
Makaveli Sanders: i got one where he went to the dallas cowboys place
Makaveli Sanders: yeah
NAW Chris: i remember that... vaguely
Makaveli Sanders: hes awesome
Makaveli Sanders: oo shit
Makaveli Sanders: emmitt was hella confused
NAW Chris: old people are easily confused

Bung Holes

NAW Chris: there's these barrels at work and on the top of them they say 2" Bung
NAW Chris: and it makes me laugh
Makaveli Sanders: lmao
Makaveli Sanders: why
NAW Chris: because it says 2" Bung!
Makaveli Sanders: whats it mean tho
NAW Chris: bung? i don't know
NAW Chris: i think butthole
Makaveli Sanders: lmao
NAW Chris: cause on Beavis and Butthead they use to say Bunghole all the time
Makaveli Sanders: lol i know
NAW Chris: and for it to be 2 inches... well, you know that's just flat out hilarious
Makaveli Sanders: lol
Makaveli Sanders: huge
NAW Chris: though kind of disturbing
NAW Chris: the trick is to not think about it for too long
Makaveli Sanders: yeah
Makaveli Sanders: out of sight out of mind
NAW Chris: but if you think about, having a 2 inch bung would have some nice advantages
NAW Chris: just think of how much time you'd save taking dumps
Makaveli Sanders: but, if youre gay, anal sex wouldnt be good for your "partner"
Makaveli Sanders: hey, nobody in jail would want to rape you
NAW Chris: another good quality
NAW Chris: oh, and farts would be almost completely silent
Makaveli Sanders: omg i was gonna say that
NAW Chris: because it wouldn't come out with such a force
Makaveli Sanders: yeah
Makaveli Sanders: smooth
NAW Chris: the 2 inches makes for less velocity
Makaveli Sanders: easy
Makaveli Sanders: silky
Makaveli Sanders: lol
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: i'm going to have to save this conversation because it's so funny
Makaveli Sanders: lmao
Makaveli Sanders: its interesting
Makaveli Sanders: interestingly funny
NAW Chris: and true
NAW Chris: i'm all out of good qualities though
Makaveli Sanders: hmm
NAW Chris: oh, you might could pick things up with it
NAW Chris: or when your hands are full and you have to open a door...
Makaveli Sanders: yeah!
Makaveli Sanders: lmao
Makaveli Sanders: pick up a stick
Makaveli Sanders: sweeping would be a sinch
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: sitting on things by accident probably wouldn't hurt anymore
Makaveli Sanders: yup
Makaveli Sanders: never get ass raped
NAW Chris: the rapist would take one look at it and run in fright
Makaveli Sanders: could hide things in there
NAW Chris: you could charge people to see it
Makaveli Sanders: yes!
Makaveli Sanders: it pays for itself
NAW Chris: join a freak show of some kind
NAW Chris: yes!
Makaveli Sanders: traveling goes with freak shows, see the world
NAW Chris: we should make the first ever bung stretching device
Makaveli Sanders: so many advantages
NAW Chris: and finally, a 100% safe place to carry your wallet
Makaveli Sanders: lmao
Makaveli Sanders: and car keys
Makaveli Sanders: spare change
NAW Chris: you could say goodbye to doggy bags
Makaveli Sanders: lmao
Makaveli Sanders: a place to keep extra pens and pencils
NAW Chris: though everything should be tightly fastened with a rope or chain so nothing gets lost up there
Makaveli Sanders: yeah
NAW Chris: we should put that on the box in our disclaimer
Makaveli Sanders: put an antenna down there
Makaveli Sanders: put a stick there with a cushion, isntantly got a chair at all times
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: no more constipation
Makaveli Sanders: oh yes
NAW Chris: that should've been our first one
NAW Chris: how could we have left that out?
Makaveli Sanders: lol i dunno
Makaveli Sanders: new way to breathe, with a little practice
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: we could also sell butt corks for people with the runs
Makaveli Sanders: major business

Porn

Makaveli Sanders: porn freak
NAW Chris: i'd rather watch this Subway commercial than talk to you
Makaveli Sanders: blow me
NAW Chris: i only have a few movies
NAW Chris: and that's none of your business
Makaveli Sanders: define few
NAW Chris: when you get older you'll start liking girls too
NAW Chris: 9
NAW Chris: 9 CLIPS
Makaveli Sanders: shit
Makaveli Sanders: gay porn i bet
NAW Chris: some of it
Makaveli Sanders: see
Makaveli Sanders: some meaning all...
NAW Chris: fine, you caught me on that one. but you believed me when i said i only had 9 of 'em. so in your face
Makaveli Sanders: lmao!

Incubus

Makaveli Sanders: i was forced to defend incubus a few days ago
NAW Chris: what was said about them?
Makaveli Sanders: that they blow
NAW Chris: oh what a clear point of attack
Makaveli Sanders: i know
NAW Chris: what did you say to such a well thought out blow? "no they don't"?
Makaveli Sanders: pretty much
Makaveli Sanders: i called one of them an incubus hating fag
Makaveli Sanders: it was a very intelligent conversation
NAW Chris: sounds like it
NAW Chris: did the two of you hit it off though? you know, have sex and whatnot?
Makaveli Sanders: shut up fag
Makaveli Sanders: kirk hammet hating fag
NAW Chris: you made love right then and there and you know it
NAW Chris: come on bob, give me details
Makaveli Sanders: well, we were sitting there
Makaveli Sanders: so I see these two men around the corner.
Makaveli Sanders: they had just finished super hot man sex
Makaveli Sanders: so i walk over and say, "im not gay, but what are your names?"
Makaveli Sanders: and they say "we're chris and dennis"
Makaveli Sanders: "u wanna join?"
Makaveli Sanders: I say "no, im not gay. Im going to listen to metallica now"
NAW Chris: wait a second... how did you see us if we were around the corner?
Makaveli Sanders: then they said "i like rage! and i like backstreet boys!"
Makaveli Sanders: dammit
NAW Chris: found the hole in your story
Makaveli Sanders: you found a hole somewhere else too

"It"

NAW Chris: suck it
Makaveli Sanders: i cant see it
NAW Chris: oh it's there
Makaveli Sanders: u sure
NAW Chris: yes. you don't have to suck it. the important thing is you were going to
Makaveli Sanders: Oh yes, it's been a dream of mine for quite some time.
NAW Chris: i knew it

Michael Jackson

NAW Chris: i can't believe you like michael jackson
Makaveli Sanders: y not
NAW Chris: because it's michael jackson and i THOUGHT you were a sane 16 year old male
NAW Chris: but no, you're a homosexual
NAW Chris: and an advocate of pedophilia
Makaveli Sanders: 17 stupid
NAW Chris: ha you correct the age and nothing else
Makaveli Sanders: haha yeah that is pretty funny

RAGNR

Makaveli Sanders: gnr does great jazz songs
NAW Chris: ha
NAW Chris: i rage against guns n roses
Makaveli Sanders: they could be the greatest any type of band they wanted
Makaveli Sanders: haha
NAW Chris: i'm forming a band called RAGNR
Makaveli Sanders: lol
NAW Chris: but we don't play instruments, we just play CDs really loud
Makaveli Sanders: rage cds?
NAW Chris: most likely
NAW Chris: i haven't gotten that far yet
Makaveli Sanders: get that far
NAW Chris: i'm working on it
NAW Chris: ok i'm there
NAW Chris: yes, rage CDs

Dennis' and My Ideas

Makaveli Sanders: is that another one of you and dennis' little ideas gone seriously wrong
NAW Chris: they don't go wrong
NAW Chris: they go right and just seem wrong

Bob's Government Project

Makaveli Sanders: haha dude
NAW Chris: what's funny
Makaveli Sanders: we have to do this government canidate project where we try and get elected, so we were watching some old canidate videos that were made by kids that were fucking hilarious
NAW Chris: oh man that's classic
NAW Chris: i'm dying here
Makaveli Sanders: this one, this kid in a ninja suit pops out and asks the dude "DID U VOTE FOR ME" he says "No dude!" and he whips his ass
Makaveli Sanders: one, this mexican kid starts stripping his clothes off with cheesy ass music, and his underwear says the political party name
NAW Chris: that's quite disgusting
Makaveli Sanders: it is i know
Makaveli Sanders: but it was funny
Makaveli Sanders: his party name was "Puma"
Makaveli Sanders: "you vote the puma, cause the puma is good!" then he strips
Makaveli Sanders: another party wanted to get rid of environmentaliss
Makaveli Sanders: ists
Makaveli Sanders: so he said "we want to get rid of these tree hugging hippies"
Makaveli Sanders: so he sees one in the tree hugging it and hits him in the nuts with a baseball bat, causing the kid to fall out of the tree. he then throws him in the trunk of his car and pulls off lmao
NAW Chris: ha
Makaveli Sanders: and you know how student ameteur videos are so cheesy?
Makaveli Sanders: it makes it that much funnier
NAW Chris: yeah
Makaveli Sanders: and while dragging the dude into the trunk of his car, he had to cross a real street and almost got hit by this blazer lmao
Makaveli Sanders: his group was "the clubbers" and he walked around with a metal bat
NAW Chris: you should have a mafia type party
Makaveli Sanders: haha dude i would, but
Makaveli Sanders: my group is like, hella not funny or social
Makaveli Sanders: theyve decided to do it on fruit...
NAW Chris: uhh
Makaveli Sanders: i have like the smartest group by far, but im not sure they understand the concept
NAW Chris: why don't you do a reverse Cops and have criminals beating blurred faced policemen
Makaveli Sanders: hahaaha thats classic!@
Makaveli Sanders: crooks

My Government

SwedishDemocracy: haha your twisted little government
SwedishDemocracy: where eventually everyone believes that you're god
SwedishDemocracy: and you become what you tried to stop
SwedishDemocracy: Chrisland
SwedishDemocracy: all hail Chris!
NAW Chris: shut up you'll jinx it
 

My Dream

SwedishDemocracy: haha jerry is out of material
NAW Chris: remember that one [Seinfeld] where he'd get ideas in the middle of the night for jokes and wake up and write them down? i did that once with a scary dream i had and it was the dumbest thing in the world. i was scared of these old people that operated a post office
SwedishDemocracy: lmao, u wrote it down?
NAW Chris: yes
NAW Chris: it was like two pages long
SwedishDemocracy: hahaha
NAW Chris: and a huge waste of time
NAW Chris: and i couldn't get back to sleep
SwedishDemocracy: old people that operated a post office
SwedishDemocracy: LMAO
SwedishDemocracy: were you half asleep
SwedishDemocracy: thats so stupid
NAW Chris: yes i was more than half
NAW Chris: well the old lady was cutting herself and wanted me to cut her and it freaked me out
SwedishDemocracy: lmao
SwedishDemocracy: weird dream
NAW Chris: yeah i know
SwedishDemocracy: i always have dreams where im falling backward in a chair then when i hit, i wakeup
NAW Chris: i had a dream i fell off of a building or something and woke up as i hit and i could feel all my weight rush to my feet
NAW Chris: it was fuckin' weird
NAW Chris: cause i was awake
SwedishDemocracy: lmao

Scooby Doo

NAW Chris: the three stooges are on Scooby Doo
NAW Chris: captain curly
SwedishDemocracy: scooby doo?
NAW Chris: yes
SwedishDemocracy: what are you, 3
 

Ear Care

SwedishDemocracy: i have a scab in my ear somewhere
NAW Chris: haha
SwedishDemocracy: i was cleaning my ear with scissors a few days ago
SwedishDemocracy: and i think that infected it
NAW Chris: are you retarded?
NAW Chris who cleans their ear with scissors?
SwedishDemocracy: theyre clean scissors
NAW Chris: they're scissors
SwedishDemocracy: its not like theyre rusty
NAW Chris: THEY'RE SCISSORS
SwedishDemocracy: i ran out of qtips
NAW Chris: were there no knives or power drills available?
 

Famous Quotes

SwedishDemocracy: he who can dream is never without sight
SwedishDemocracy: thats a lewis original
NAW Chris: sure it is
SwedishDemocracy: i swear
SwedishDemocracy: i made that up myself
SwedishDemocracy: it MIGHT have been done before but i made it myself
 

My IDS Teacher

NAW Chris: my IDS teacher pauses at the end of every sentence and waits for someone to jump in with an answer
SwedishDemocracy: lol
NAW Chris: even if it's just something that went on his day
NAW Chris: like we're supposed to know it
SwedishDemocracy: and then i went to the movies and saw shawshank....
NAW Chris: "i got up this morning and my car wouldnnnnn't... start"
SwedishDemocracy: haha
SwedishDemocracy: mab libs
NAW Chris: i have sex wiiiiith... carpet
SwedishDemocracy: a man threw me in his car and pulled down my pants and then i said....
SwedishDemocracy: haha sex with carpet
NAW Chris: haha
SwedishDemocracy: whenever i eat meat i feel...
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: sometimes when i'm on the toilet iii...
SwedishDemocracy: haha
SwedishDemocracy: FALL IN!
SwedishDemocracy: JACK OFF!
NAW Chris: sex with carpet, man that killed me
SwedishDemocracy: haha
SwedishDemocracy: sex with carpet
SwedishDemocracy: i wonder what he prefers
SwedishDemocracy: a nice shag rug
SwedishDemocracy: haha shag
NAW Chris: haha
SwedishDemocracy: my sexual preference is...
NAW Chris: my back iiiis... hairy
SwedishDemocracy: haha
SwedishDemocracy: ids
SwedishDemocracy: lol
SwedishDemocracy: you said he makes you do shit to make himself feel good
NAW Chris: sometimes i have troubllllle... keeping it up
SwedishDemocracy: haha keeping it up
SwedishDemocracy: my wife is mad at me because...
SwedishDemocracy: i had surgery to increase my...
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: 2 inches is the length of myyy...
SwedishDemocracy: my wife can been seen in such films as...
SwedishDemocracy: 2 inches
SwedishDemocracy: haha
NAW Chris: i masturbate while watchiiiing... the golden girls
NAW Chris: once i got my penis caught in aaaa... folding chair
SwedishDemocracy: haha
SwedishDemocracy: one thing i would change about my private area is...
SwedishDemocracy: while in bed, my wife complains about...
NAW Chris: haha
NAW Chris: he gets mad at us for not reading the chapters but he never tells us what chapters to read
SwedishDemocracy: lol
SwedishDemocracy: mind readers
NAW Chris: the second day we got in trouble for not reading the chapter and only one person even knew what chapter we were in
SwedishDemocracy: hsahah 1 person
 

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